I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
