yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
