I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
