My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
