Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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