i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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