Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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