I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize