I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
