I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize