Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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