I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
