You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
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Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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