i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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