Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
