This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
