You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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