Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
