Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
do herpes really smell.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
