Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
only you would photoshop your dick
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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