Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
