So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
