i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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