I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
