I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
