so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
