Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
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I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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