I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
