I don't think brook has ever known best
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
