im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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