Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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