he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize