Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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