Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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