My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
