Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
