sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
