Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
