I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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