He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
