We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
