no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
