sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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