I'm pants shitting drunk right now
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times