the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.