Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.

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(334): She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard. http://tfl.nu/xu4e

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car

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(339): Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car http://tfl.nu/oon7

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(516): View more from New York

its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved

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(516): its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved http://tfl.nu/wek7

Replies (11) Good night (5152) Bad night (1194) Order T-Shirt
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(636): View more from Missouri

Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?

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(636): Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later? http://tfl.nu/o4ww

Replies (19) Good night (1150) Bad night (4526) Order T-Shirt
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(954): View more from Florida

We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.

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(954): We're sending your burrito through the mail slot. http://tfl.nu/pddr

Replies (4) Good night (3728) Bad night (664) Order T-Shirt
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.

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(405): Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door. http://tfl.nu/5l3p

Replies (5) Good night (2759) Bad night (623) Order T-Shirt
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(316): View more from Kansas

I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.

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(316): I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock. http://tfl.nu/nmgr

Replies (16) Good night (3645) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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(317): View more from Indiana

I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.

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(317): I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock. http://tfl.nu/fdm1

Replies (9) Good night (3015) Bad night (737)
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(330): View more from Ohio

The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.

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(330): The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life. http://tfl.nu/qfsl

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.

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(918): like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness. http://tfl.nu/c3xi

Replies (7) Good night (1263) Bad night (654)
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(845): View more from New York

Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.

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(845): Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent. http://tfl.nu/xb5q

Replies (5) Good night (2062) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
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(773): View more from Illinois

after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown

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(773): after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown http://tfl.nu/azzf

Replies (7) Good night (742) Bad night (1137)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?

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(250): Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv? http://tfl.nu/hacf

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..

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(484): You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them.. http://tfl.nu/tn7r

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(336): View more from North Carolina

That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap

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(336): That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap http://tfl.nu/hjra

Replies (3) Good night (147) Bad night (649) Order T-Shirt

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