your room smells of hookers.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
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If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
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i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.