if you like me you must not know who I am
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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