Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
