i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
