Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
