im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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