brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
