I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
