Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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