i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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