..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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