Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
