She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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