Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
